All About Me

When I was little, there was only one thing I wanted to be when I grew up: a superhero. Sadly, this goal was made moot when I realized that being a klutz was not in fact, a super power, and my super-weakness for anything bright and shiny meant that a magpie with self-control could easily defeat me in a battle of wills. Hence, the turn to writing as an occupation. I don’t get to live on a secret space station orbiting the earth (and thank God, because I get motion sick on a merry-go-round), but I still get to wear leotards, a cape and say things like, “STAND ASIDE! THIS IS A JOB FOR WRITING-GIRL!”

Friday, July 9, 2010

Is It a Romance?

Is it a Romance?
By Bronwyn Storm

I think the most painful word in the world is "rejection," (this word is closely followed by "we can still be friends," and "I’m sorry, we don’t make that dessert anymore," but I digress). Rejection. Three syllables worth of disappointment, hurt, confusion—the angst-related synonyms could stretch on for eternity.

There are different reasons for rejection—the story doesn’t fit the line; there’s too much telling, not enough showing (writing, it appears, is the one industry where baring all and exposing one’s self are regarded as the commendable…unlike in the real world where showing your everything could get you a fine and jail time). Perhaps the most confusing rejection for a writer to hear is "It’s a good story, but it’s not a romance."

Not a romance? Not a romance! There’s a boy, there’s a girl, they end up together in the end. What else could the editor want?

Well, a lot, actually.

Despite misconceptions, just because you have two bodies declaring their undying love at the end of a story doesn’t mean your story is a romance.

First of all—and proving my suspicion that those who pursue writing as a career have some deep-seated masochistic issues—romance can be subjective. One of my friends told me that she thought Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean was a great romance. I, on the other hand, thought it was an action-adventure with romantic elements. Who was right? Me, of course. Hey, this is my article; I get to be right, don’t I?

The reason I didn’t think it was a romance was because the story didn’t really seem to focus on Elizabeth and Will as much as it did Jack Sparrow. The other characters seemed to be fighting him, working with him, missing him, looking for him, wishing they’d never found him…so for me, I felt the story was Jack’s because everything seemed to revolve around him.

Oh dear. I think I’m digressing (which you have to admit, is far better than when I’m regressing). Anyhow, to anyone who’s ever written a story, thought it was a romance, submitted it, only to be told, "Sorry, dear. Great story, but not a romance," I offer the following as a helpful checklist.

When you’re done writing your story, take a look and answer the following questions (I’m going to answer according to the classic fairy tale, Beauty and the Beast):

Is the majority of the story is focused on the relationship between the hero and heroine?

Yes, without question.

How as close to the first page as possible do they meet?

In the version I read they met on page three—after the father had picked the rose and incurred the Beast’s wrath.

Do their interactions take up the majority of ink space in the book?

Yes again. I’d say about ninety percent of the book was about them.

When they’re not together are they thinking about each other?

Absolutely. When Beauty goes home, all she can think about is the Beast.

Do they both have to sacrifice/learn something at the end of the story?

Yeppers. They both learn that love can run deeper than the skin/appearances.

Whatever the external conflict, can it only be solved by working together?

Yes. One of the external conflicts is the well-being of the father. That’s solved by Beauty moving to the Beast’s castle. The other conflict is the Beast’s well-being, which also provides the climax and resolution of the story.

If the story is spicy-hot/depicts love scenes, are they the only ones whose lovemaking the reader is privy to?

In the story I read they never made love.

At the end of the story, is there is a Happy Ever After?

Sigh. Yes, oh, yes!

If there are secondary characters, is that all they are—secondary. They don’t dominate the text. Their stories (if they have any) are alluded to, rather than focused on?

Yes. The secondary character in my version was the father, whose actions instigated the story and got the plot going.

If there is a subplot, it serves to further the interactions between the Hero & Heroine?

In this version, there was no subplot. But if you think about the Disney version, then the subplot was Gaston and he certainly furthered the interactions between the hero and heroine.

The main Points Of Views are the Hero & Heroine. If we step away from it, is it because a character has information the reader needs to know that can’t be conveyed via the Hero or Heroine?

In my version, there were no other points of view save Beauty’s.

So there we have it. Beauty and the Beast was a romance, Pirates of the Caribbean…well, even if it wasn’t, that soul-searing-sigh-worthy-kiss between Elizabeth and Will (where they’re on the tower) certainly made up for it.

As for your story, take the checklist, hold it up to your novel and decide: is it a romance?

Query's Blessing, Query's Curse

Query's Blessing, Query's Curse
by Bronwyn Storm

I don’t know what I was thinking…don’t know where my head was…I guess I figured that I would write a book and just as I typed “the end,” I would hear a knock at my door. And when I opened it, I would find an editor, agent, and Oprah/Larry King’s booking people, all waiting for me.

Sigh.

Fantasies are nice, aren’t they? I think they’re the same magical stuff that prompts four hundred pound men to strut around on beaches, wearing nothing but a black Speedo and a smile.

My soft dream that I’d run into an editor or agent in the grocery store (I, dressed a classic black turtleneck and dark jeans, would be standing by the cantaloupes, thoughtfully squeezing a melon, and I would look up and see her/him. Our eyes would meet, electricity of kinship and camaraderie would spark and set the parsley ablaze. They’d ask for my manuscript, I’d ask for their card…and at some point, there would be a glorious red-orange sunset, or maybe a nice bottle of Chianti by the ocean…) spoiled like milk left on the counter when I realized that New York editors wouldn’t travel to Alberta to pick up a dozen eggs.

Thank God for writing companions. At a meeting one night, they uttered the words that both saved my soul and cursed it: “Query letters,” they said, with sage nods. “That’s how you apply to publishing houses.”

“Ah, okay…what’s in a query letter?”

“The usual—your name, information about your novel, that kind of stuff.”

I nodded, hoping I looked contemplative and not like a brown bobblehead, and thought I can probably get that to fit into five pages.

“Your life on a page,” said one lady.

“On a what?” My brain stuttered, cursing what had to be my faulty hearing.

“A page. Single-spaced.”

“Wha-wha?” Now, all of me stuttered. My brain made stammered apologies to my ears (who have still not forgiven either of us for our rash judgments about its abilities).

She repeated the words, slower and louder, not realizing that my hearing was the least of my problems.

A single page to mash all my credits, address, and story into? Was this another ritual to torture writers? Some sick joke, like the “you can’t be published until you get an agent, but you can’t get an agent unless you’re published”? This wasn’t just mean. It was cruel and heartless.

That night, I headed home and put a call into a psychotherapist, positive that hidden deep in my subconscious were sado-masochistic tendencies, and they were responsible for my venture into a writing career. The therapist called me the next morning and amid exhortations (“A writer, are you? Oh, that’s lovely. I’m a writer, too. I’m going to write a book—Psychosis of Psychoanalyses, as soon as I have a minute.” Why, oh WHY, do people say this, like writing a book is something you do when you’re bored and have time to kill in between Survivor and Jerry Springer?), he assured me that writing as a career venture was not a sign of a diseased mind.

Having nowhere to turn—the bars and mental institutions being filled, I had no choice but to strap on the wrist guard, flex my fingers, and write a query letter. I’m not clear on this (having never been able to maintain consciousness long enough at one of these meetings), but I’m certain that writing a query is marginally less painful than listening to politicians debate why they should get a raise, and argue about whether it should be “Bylaw 5” or “Bylaw Five.”

For all my efforts, I got polite rejections to my queries. And I felt an emotion that fell somewhere between despair, dejection and insanity. What did editors want? I put all the information into the letter: my address, my manuscript information, and my credits. Why was I getting rejected?

I checked out “How To Query” books from the library, only to find out that by the time they were published, they were also out of date. I talked to published writers—even got them to look at my letters, and still I got rejected. Was there a secret code? A special decal I put on the letter that got me behind the velvet rope?

The answer is yes. It’s not enough to have the parts; it’s how you put them together. Remember Bill Pullman’s character in Sleepless in Seattle? He was a good guy with a good job, nice enough…but we were all rooting for Tom Hanks, weren’t we? Why? Because he was vibrant, colourful…Bill’s character, meanwhile, kinda seemed like oatmeal: probably good for you, but bland, and sorta gooey.

Take a look at this query:

Dear Edtior,
My name is Bronwyn Storm and I’m a writer. My book is called Beauty and the Beast, and it fits your guidelines for Fairy Tales at 30 000 words.

Belle is beautiful, smart, and loyal to her father. One day his horse comes back without him. He is missing, she goes to find him. She sees his hat on the other side of a castle gate, and she goes to investigate. Inside, she finds a candelabra and a clock who can speak. She also finds a horrible beast. He sets her father free but keeps her as a prisoner. Belle is sad. She doesn’t think she’ll ever be hapy again, but when the beast shows her the library, she begins to love him. One night she finds out her father is sick. She goes to help him. But Gaston catches her and steals the magic mirror. He goes to kill the beast. Belle chases after him. She sees them fighting on the castle roof. She tries to stop them, but Gaston kills the beast. Belle is devastated and cries. She tells him that she loves him. Suddenly, there’s a spark of life…

At this point, we’ll all be lucky if there’s a spark of life left in the editor. What’s wrong with this letter? First of all, it’s plagiarized material, and man oh man, editors hate it when you send them stories that someone else wrote (they also hate it when you send them novels that other houses own the publishing rights to). But add in the spelling errors, the fact that it’s addressed to “editor.” Common courtesy says to give the editor a name—their birth name, would be best. Think about it, they spent the better part of their preschool lives learning how to spell their names, don’t diminish that accomplishment. You know how much you hate those telemarketers who call and ask, “Are you the owner?” I think that’s how editors feel when they get “Dear Editor” letters, like they have no identity, like the writer didn’t even care enough about the writing art to do a little research.

But what else is wrong with this letter? Take a look: loads of “is” “goes” “finds” “she.” There are so many verbs in the English language—grandiose, large, robust verbs. Use them. Also, if you look at the letter, there’s no flow to the plot. Who’s Gaston? Where does the mirror come from? How much time has elapsed? If your query leaves enough holes to make swiss cheese, it’s going to go into the recycle section of an editor’s desk.

So, what’s a writer to do?

When you pen a query letter:
• Include word count, title, line you’re targeting
• When you write the blurb, give: the MAIN characters’ names, their conflict, and the ending.
• If you’re not published, keep that information to yourself. Likewise with, “This is the first novel I’ve written.” This seems to have the same effect on editors as going on a first date and saying, “I thought I had genital warts once, but they cleared right up, so I guess I’m wrong,” has on your partner. As in, it may not be a deal breaker, but that kind of private information is more third date, contract in your hand, kind of information.

So, if we were to rewrite the above query, what might it look like?

Dear Ms. December,

Trapped by small town politics and a suitor who can’t take “no” for an answer, Belle longs for a bigger, more exciting life. Her wish comes true in a horrific way: her father goes missing while on a trip to a nearby village. Racing against time and winter’s cold, she speeds into the woods, determined to bring him home. What she finds in the dark forest--a magical castle, a monstrous beast, her father held captive, and a dark proposal--will test everything she thought she knew about the world around her, and about love...

Notice that in the first paragraph, we now have the villain, hero, heroine, an external conflict, and the internal conflict. The verbs are more verbose, the plot more concise.

I said earlier that queries are my saving grace and my curse, and I hold to that. They test my skills as a writer, force me to make sure my plot is tight (they’re a great way to check for holes. Try writing rough queries as you write your novel and you’ll see what I mean. Issues with plot, conflict, and pacing are spotlighted by queries and synopsis). Queries have me thumbing through my thesaurus, trying to come up with synonyms for “gentle” (sigh. A too favourite word of mine).

When they work, I feel like Annie, walking on to the platform of the Empire State Building to discover Sam and Jonah waiting for me. When they don’t work, then I’m dejected, standing on the side of the road, watching Sam hug another woman.

Whether I’m on a building or on the road, though, a query is my map and if I want an editor to find me, then I best make it as detailed, concise and colourful as possible.

So to you, my fellow travellers, I tip my hat and wish you good journey on your writing and querying trips. May the sun be bright and warm, may the grass be green, and should you run into a Bill Pullman query, may it be a “While You Were Sleeping” Bill, rather than a “Sleepless in Seattle” Bill. Wait a minute…what is it with Bill Pullman and starring in movies with “Sleep” in the title…?

Thursday, July 8, 2010

I Love You a Latte - Reviews

Night Owl Romance -- 4 Stars
I thought this was a very enjoyable and absorbing read. You can easily fall in love with both Annie and Devon and can only hope that things work out for the both of them. I felt the pain they were both experiencing for they both had lost a spouse, though through two different means. Your heart went out to both of them as they were struggling to get back into the dating world and felt so lost in the process of doing so. I would definitely recommend this story to others and look forward to reading more stories by this author.


Stacy Dawn, author of The Apple of His Eye
I Love You a Latte quenches a parched spirit with humor and witty writing. Grabbing you from the first page, this story mirrors the average woman's internal thoughts and shows that a plus size doesn't dampen love but makes it a plus too. Thoroughly enjoyable, I look forward to more from Ms. Bronwyn Storm.


Amanda Ashby, author of You Had Me At Halo
'I LOVE YOU A LATTE is like a double shot of caffeine on a cold day - it's fun, feisty and full of sparkle!

Ethan's Chase -- Reviews

From the Romance Studio -- 4.5 stars

Chase Logan is a woman to admire. Not because of her brains and beauty, but for having to put up with someone from her past making her life a living hell. On top of that, she finally met someone whom she was attracted to, and he set out to hurt her in every way imaginable. I swear Ethan Phillips was a totally stubborn at time. He couldn’t see what a treasure he had found. Everyone else saw it except him. I was horrified at the position Chase found herself in on more than one occasion because of a huge mistake she made in her life that continued to haunt her waking hours. This story also warns us to be careful of even our closet friends and love ones, because jealousy can be a very bad enemy. I liked this story, it had my attention until the end, and made me think that what Chase experienced could happen to anyone of us at any time. Ms. Storm did an excellent job with the characters of this story. The plot and scenes were well done, a nice love story.
Overall rating: 4.5 hearts
Sensuality rating: Mildly sensual
Reviewer: Margo Arthur
April 25, 2008


Long and Short of It Reviewers -- 5 Stars
Millionaire Ethan Philips has sworn off women. After a disastrous relationship that leaves him wounded, he has refused to get into any relationship. However, his interest is piqued when he has a run in with a woman and her coffee. But that is not enough to push him into the dating game again. After all, look where his interest had landed him last time. This time he is going to make sure that his heart remains locked tight. But his two friends working with destiny has different plans. When the woman with the coffee lands in his office, what will he do? When clues show that she is directly responsible for an information leakage, will Ethan trust her?

Chase Logan cannot believe that she spilled coffee on a man on the streets. And she is even more shocked and embarrassed when she realizes that he is the owner of the company she is planning to place a bid for a consultant job. She wins the job because of Ethan’s friends and reluctantly agrees to it. Added to the job stress, her personal life is a nightmare, as a competitor tries to defame her and her business. Can she lean on Ethan during this time?

Ms. Storm creates a plethora of colorful characters in this novel. Even though her characters follow the usual roles that are in stories, she adds her own twist and a fresh outlook to them. For instance, one of Ethan’s friends is a computer geek and is personified as absent minded and geeky. However, she adds a sparkle to his character by pairing him with a woman who is beautiful and not at all geeky. The story moves quickly, however, it is an emotional roller coaster. One minute things are looking up, the next both the main characters are unsure about the other. But I believe that this roller-coaster created a very good story. The author also added an element of suspense to this story by introducing a stalker that does not seem to do anything wrong and hence cannot be caught. This made the pages turn even faster! I would definitely recommend this book to anyone and am looking forward to more books by this author.

Review by Jasmine


Romance Junkies -- 4.5 Stars
ETHAN’S CHASE is an exciting, suspense-filled romance. This modern day story will keep you on the edge of your seat, as you wonder what form the harassment will take next. Ethan and Chase are well matched in this very steamy romance. The reader can’t help but feel sympathy for Ethan in his attempts to get closer to Chase, who has to be strong to deal with all the harassment she goes through before this story ends. I highly recommend ETHAN’S CHASE for those who love steamy, adventurous romances.
By Romance Junkies Reviewer: Dottie
Blue Ribbon Rating: 4.5


Enchanting Reviews -- 4.5 Stars
Ethan's Chase is a romance filled with intrigue and conflicting emotions which move the story along at a fast pace. I really enjoyed reading this book, it kept me turning the pages to see what happened next. Ms. Storm weaves her conflicts into the story in a way that is believable and enjoyable...I would definitely read more of Bronwyn Storm's books.